What do you binge?

[anklin]

A survey. First and foremost, I would like it to be known that I in no way chose these questions. They were decided by a random number generator because I’m too lazy to make decisions on my own. Unfortunately, I now deeply regret that laziness. Still, I suppose I made my own bed. Now, you can lie in it with me. What do you consider your greatest achievement? One question in and it’s already bullshit. Look, I could say something about how great it was that I graduated college, or the fact that I managed to be virile enough to produce a child but the truth is most of our greatest deeds are a matter of circumstance and right time, right place. I’ve worked my ass off, but I’ve mostly been lucky. To take credit for anything is to ignore and fail to acknowledge that. I suppose there’s something to be said for surviving, though. A lot of people haven't. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why? Do people really hesitate on this? Technically, my shit’s in a firebox but you bet your ass I’m getting out the paperwork. Do you know how hard it is to replace something like a social security card, let alone your social security card, and your passport, and on and on. I have a photo or two in there, too, so don’t give me shit about that. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? I can’t really remember. That’s not some macho smoke up the ass to trick people into thinking I don’t cry, because I do, I just haven’t done it in the past few days and it was probably over something trivial like a really good Queen song or some buzzfeed article on puppies. What is your most marked characteristic? I have no idea what this means. Are we talking physical? Emotional? What people say when they go, “Hey, do you know Jack?” “Jack?” “Yeah, the dude that only drinks coffee on Tuesday? You know, like six foot?” That’s not true, by the way. I drink coffee every day of the week. Except most Saturdays, because who gets out of bed on Saturday when they're still tired? On a serious note, I guess I’m a bit sweary and loud. Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it? Deep cuts, people. I tend to either go and do what I’ve been dreaming of, or give up the dream. I’m not one to hold onto “OMG, I just want to go to SPAAAAINNNN” and talk about it for ten years. If you really wanted to go to Spain, Barb, you would have gone already, now tone it down, some of us don’t go to bed sober by eight on a fucking federal holiday.